Widowhood Season 6.1: Songs and Tony’s Teens

7/1/21

He’s all up in my playlist today. Stuff I haven’t heard in ages. The songs that comfort and help motivate as I make today’s use of Excel. Macros and Visual Basic, baby. Returning to my programming roots in a 21st Century way. It’s a living.

This season, I have good job satisfaction. Home life is going swimmingly, and It’s the time of year the drive home is with the top down, in my Megan Draper hat. Switched to CD’s cause it’s nice to listen to albums for a change. My Sinatra collection is scratched, and my CD’s are in storage. Yay, Thrift Stores!

I must about, I’ve gotten so spoiled by streaming music. I do love the variety and how the algorithms have introduced me to Louis Prima, turned me on to The Voodoo Glow Skulls new album, and let me find solace in early Genesis. My own Private Radio station, commercial-free and random access. Bliss.

I miss him, really I do. It’s honestly still hard to feel. It stalls me. My whole world, gone. It’s like the last 18 years were a coma dream. I have little physical evidence of that time. Like something out of Blade Runner. I just can’t go there too often. If at all.

Darling will spend Widowhood Anniversary #7 with me, as I spend the day using my health insurance. I really gotta quit with the survivor’s guilt about that. I survived, I worked hard for these benefits in the beginning. I should use them.

Sweetie has been the supporting character who’s appeared in all seasons. Last season, we moved into an apartment. Plus Darling’s first season. Those two are so great for my soul. They say I’m great for theirs too. Amour sans fou rules, rocks, and kicks ass, as I used to say many years ago.

Handmaid’s Tale was good this year. Trauma just leaves holes in the soul that you don’t know how to fill.

Sopranos prequel looks good. I need to find more Mob-themed Anime. I know they’re out there.

The music dazes in and out of my concentration. My thoughts do too.

The Minimoog will always be a part of my soul in small ways. It was in the airwaves in my infancy. I feel like buying one and seeing if I can restore it. Like I have that kind of free time.

So that’s today’s ramblings.

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