Content warning: death, dying with dignity, suicide. Skip this if it’s gonna trigger you, and go watch baby animals or dark memes or whatever’ll boost your dopamine. To be fair, losing Kevin was pretty traumatic, and I find it easiest to process these feelings via writing. We “put animals out of their misery” when living… Continue reading This blog is pretty much just about Kevin, isn’t it?
Siberian Khatru, Yes, Close To The Edge To me, this song is the prog equivalent to a movie using a “party song” to tie everything up in a neat bow and play until the credits finish rolling. Does this mourning really get easier with time? Apparently so. But then again, other things have popped up… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8.13: The mo(u)rning that comes into view
Two of Us, The Beatles, Let It Be My seminal memory of this song is Kevin and I driving in his ’67 Mustang fastback, circa 1997 going to visit his Dad on a Sunday. (It might have been on the way to NAMM. Again, it was awhile back!) It was a bright day, not too… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8.6: Doris gets her oats
Two Against Nature, Steely Dan, Two Against Nature Out of all the wonderful music Kevin introduced me to, Steely Dan has had the deepest impact on my soul. Their music is full of cynical sentiments set to music expressing a wide variety of emotions that I could lose myself in whenever I was feeling something… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8.4: The Boys from Bard
Eggplant, Michael Franks, The Art of Tea I first became aware of Michael Franks in 1998. Kevin bought the CD A Backwards Glance as an introduction. (Probably before we got ADSL.) My life was improved the day my ears met his music for the first time. Yes, I know I said that about Metheny, but… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8.3: A Love Poet
5-5-7, Pat Metheny Group, Letter From Home I will forever associate Pat Metheny with Kevin because he’s the one who would download random songs featuring this wonderful jazz guitarist and play them for me. There are so many songs I could have picked, but I chose this one because it reminds me of Kevin and… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8.2: Jazz Guitar
Breakout, Swing Out Sister, It’s Better to Travel Circa 1997 (Maybe ’96? I was probably living with him, but I can’t remember for sure), we were in the Toluca Lake apartment, listening to music, when this song starts to fill the room. (Was he playing the cassette that would later play regularly in our kitchen… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8.1: Breakout
A Dirt Fam member inspired me to do something different this Season. Heck, I didn’t even write about last season. Guess therapy was an adequate substitute. 🙂 This year, I have chosen 14 songs that I associate with Kevin. This year I’ll write a little about them. It was hard to narrow it down–even now… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8: 14 Songs
7/1/21 He’s all up in my playlist today. Stuff I haven’t heard in ages. The songs that comfort and help motivate as I make today’s use of Excel. Macros and Visual Basic, baby. Returning to my programming roots in a 21st Century way. It’s a living. This season, I have good job satisfaction. Home life… Continue reading Widowhood Season 6.1: Songs and Tony’s Teens
I’ve written before about some issues I had related to painkillers, sense memory, and survivor’s guilt. Here’s a little more: How does a widow process whatever emotion’s being pinged by some lower back pain brought on due to her spending a chunk of Saturday working on wiring while sitting on the ground? Like this I… Continue reading Pain as a Sense Memory Trigger